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Posted by on Jan 21, 2016 in Marriage | 4 comments

Building Our House

Recently, Dave & I had a bit of a disagreement. Now, I’m blessed beyond measure to be married to Dave – he is loving, so patient, kind and thee most helpful and giving man I know. The fact that he’s super handsome is just the cherry on top. I would marry him 100 times over and I feel so lucky to be his wife. But, he’s not perfect. And neither am I. Throw 2 more tiny (also not perfect) humans into that mix and I think it goes without saying that we do have arguments from time to time. Thankfully, we typically work through our disagreements quickly because Dave leads our home with a strong belief that we should never go to bed upset. We also operate from the understanding that while we may not always be on the same page, we are always on the same team. This usually helps us attack the issue without attacking each other, so to speak.

Building Our House

But, this recent disagreement came at a time when my nerves were just a little too shot from motherhood. Moms – we’ve all been there, right? The not sleeping through the night. The toddler has a cold. The baby is teething. The dogs are barking at the UPS guy for the 286th day in a row. The not-having-a-minute-to-yourself-ever. I was all out of patience and goodness for the day and what I had left was exhaustion and irritation, which I knew was going to be evident to Dave when we finished hashing out our disagreement later that night.

Thankfully, Dave was safe at work during all this.

I sat down that afternoon with my Bible and stumbled across Proverbs 14:1.

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” 

Oh, how thankful I am that in the midst of our struggles, God often does His greatest work in us!

As I was mentally building my case against Dave that afternoon in an effort to show him how he had wronged me that day, God showed me that I wasn’t actually building anything. In reality, I was on a demolition mission. How foolish of me!

But isn’t that what we do sometimes? We tear down our own house by tearing down our husbands. We do it with the looks we give. We do it with our tone. We do it with our petty complaints.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Encourage one another and build each other up.” 

How different would our marriages look if we practiced this in our homes daily? This is a verse Atlas already knows by heart and I hope it is a verse he & Andi see lived out each day in our home by Dave & me.

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If your’e reading this and you can’t remember the last time you said something nice to your spouse, I challenge you to get out of the bulldozer you’re currently sitting in,  start picking up bricks and get to building (the bricks aren’t meant to be hurled at your husband, by the way. They are more like proverbial bricks. You know, kind words and gestures meant to build him up. Just wanted to clarify). Let’s all be intentional about building our homes in 2016 and let’s build homes we are proud of!


  1. I’m not currently married, but in all honesty I kind of needed to hear this today! I have been a little down, not feeling really like im appreciated but you totally reminded me that I need to be showing that to him as well! Although I have been doing little things like cleaning his kitchen or cooking him dinner, I haven’t said anything out loud which is so so important!

    • I’m so glad this encouraged you, Hilary! 🙂

  2. This is such a great reminder. What does it bring us to tear the other one down other than a bigger disagreement and then a little more hurt. What an awesome message, Ashley!

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