The Struggle is Real
I’ve been avoiding all forms of childcare for the last few weeks because Andi Rose keeps getting sick, and then once she is sick there is a 50% chance that some other member of our family gets her illness, which means sicknesses keep lingering in our house for what feels like weeks at a time. While nothing is obviously life threatening, it has all been incredibly frustrating. Last week I was itching to get out of the house though, so I took the kids up to our local gym. They seem to love playing in there and they love the girls who work in there so it always seems like such a good deal for all involved! However, when I went to drop them off last week I knew before I ever walked out of the childcare room that at least one of them was going to leave sick. I saw the sick kid in the room with my own eyes. I saw the kid with snot running down their face and their red, puffy eyes and I thought, “Oh man. That kid looks rough.” I almost picked Atlas & Andi Rose back up immediately and just left, but I didn’t want to make an awkward scene…because really, how do you politely say, “I don’t want my kid interacting with that kid – yes that one, right there…with the cough that sounds like a dying horse.” Oh, how I wish I would have just scooped them up and walked back out though. Just 2 days later, Andi Rose’s nose started to run, which then turned into her being up for hours in the night and her cold eventually turned into an ear infection. Now Atlas has a runny nose and I assume we are starting the whole process with him and I’m just praying his cold doesn’t turn into an ear infection also. Luckily, we saw the doctor Monday so they both were able to get checked out and Andi Rose was able to start an antibiotic to get her ear cleared up. Fingers crossed those meds work fast for my baby girl!
*Rabbit Trail: We were actually at the doctor’s office because Atlas’ dissolvable stitches never dissolved and his battle wound from his accident was looking funky. The doctor had to remove his stitches and he was so brave and I was beyond proud of him. He definitely shed some tears and I don’t blame him for that – I wanted to cry for him. That poor boy has been through it but I just feel my heart swell up with pride when I watch him rise to an occasion and own it. The doctor had to take tweezers and scissors to his stitches and literally pull at them (I’ll save you the details because it was actually gross) and I know it didn’t feel good because he kept wincing, but he sat on the table so still and even though his bottom lip was puckering out and he had tears streaming down his face, he didn’t let out an audible cry. He did what he knew he had to do, fighting through his fear, and that is the best definition of bravery I can think of. Anyways, I wasn’t even going to mention Andi’s cold to the doctor because we were just there for Atlas’ stitches but I decided to bring up the fact that she wasn’t sleeping, and I told the doctor I figured it was just because she was so congested and the doctor graciously agreed to do a quick check of her ears. I was so grateful she did because otherwise it may have taken me 3 more days to consider the possibility of an ear infection (This is the first time we’ve had an ear infection in our house – we’ve been SO lucky on that front).*
So, anyways this week we are back on the struggle bus. I’m administering cold meds and antibiotics & wiping noses left and right and spending several hours in the middle of the night sitting in a rocking chair with a congested baby. Tonight I imagine I’ll be like a ping pong ball bouncing between Atlas’ room and Andi’s room. And that’s okay because that’s my job. But sometimes it just feels so daunting. Like, I can’t take my kids anywhere because mothers out there take their sick kids everywhere. Dave & I talked at length over the weekend and for the time being we are choosing to keep our kids out of childcare. God has blessed us beyond what we deserve with 2 healthy children and the ability for me to stay home and care for them. It’s hard to choose not to let your kids participate in things like the church nursery, but for us right now it’s just not worth it. It isn’t worth the sleepless nights. It isn’t worth the cancelled family plans. It isn’t worth watching our babies suffer. So, no gym and no church nursery for us (we may still go to church some weeks, but the kids will just come in with us). We are going to take a breather for a few weeks from it all. We will fill our time with outings to the park and lots of walks.
Unfortunately, I think we are just in a season where Andi Rose puts everything in her mouth and we are in an environment where kids are everywhere and mothers don’t really think twice about taking their sick kids out (<– My theory for this is that mothers in Georgia have, on average, 6 kids so things like the stomach bug and the common cold aren’t big deals here because that’s just everyday life. I’m kidding. Sort of.)
One of the biggest reasons we left NYC was because I couldn’t handle the isolation of the winter. During the winter, the kids and I just wouldn’t leave the house when it was 14 degrees and it was so lonely. Since moving to Georgia, we’ve been under house arrest because it seems like every outing we experience is followed by 10 days of sickness. It’s lonely. It’s isolating. It’s hard. It’s maddening. But it is what it is. The struggle is real. Dave made an excellent point the other night as I was crying (sobbing) about how much I missed New York and about how I think we made such a big mistake with our move and our kids are the ones suffering because they have permanent seats on the sick train. He pointed out that if they weren’t getting sick now, then they would end up getting sick the whole first year of kindergarten so it was now or later and we are lucky we are getting it out of the way now. I guess that is one way to look at it and I sure hope he’s right.
In other news, I went to the grocery store and stocked up on a week’s worth of groceries only to realize at the checkout counter that I didn’t have my wallet! GAH! Who does that?! To top that off, Dave & I went to the gym to film a short workout video for a post I have scheduled to publish this week and when we got there, we realized we didn’t grab the right key (Dave oversees a gym, so that’s why he has a key). The gym was closed, so we were out of luck and returned home and decided to just call it a day. Survival mode, ya’ll – We are in survival mode! We were blessed with amazing tickets to a Braves game this week and I’m praying God grants us the health to go because Atlas & Dave have been so excited for it. It breaks my mama heart to see Atlas miss out on things when he’s so excited about it and I hate to let Dave down when he’s so looking forward to an event.
So bear with me this week as I strive to keep this blog and 2 sick babies alive! Straight up wingin’ it over here right now!
Mama’s! Did you ever feel like you were in a season of sickness where you just couldn’t get your kids to stay healthy?